Winter is here...

Winter is here, and I'm pretty sure I only like it because the cold only makes my daily Starbucks caramel brulee lattee taste SO much better.

Otherwise, my back and arms are getting the workout of a lifetime clearing the snow off my driveway. Snow is FREAKING heavy, people. HEAVY.

At least Two-Two is loving the weather. She jumps through the snow like a little rabbit. I guess that's what you gotta do when there's snow going up higher than you have leg for.

Because of the snow, I joined the rest of North Toronto at Canadian Tire to buy some salt for my walkway and winter windshield wipers so that I can drive and see at the same time. Look at me being all winter safe and responsible!

I saw this sign on the side of the salt tub and literally LOL'd.

I don't have any babies (just the canine one, whom I'm sure can manage to maneuver herself away from a bucket of salt), so I'm sorry for being insensitive, if this comes off as such. But this bucket came up to my KNEE. HOW CAN A BABY FALL INTO A KNEE-HIGH BUCKET?! If the baby is tall enough to climb up the bucket (and not tip it over), fall INTO the bucket (which is conveniently filled with salty drowny liquid), then it should have the capacity to either call for help or muscle itself out.

You've got to admit, the warning sign on the bucket is really REALLY funny. That baby just looks like it's grabbing salt to eat...

ANYWAY, SUBJECT CHANGE....

Green smoothie update?

Still rockin' the smoothe-a-day routine. Sometimes it's breakfast, sometimes it's lunch, and sometimes it's 1/3 of a dinner. But it always, ALWAYS still leaves me hungry about half an hour later.

Plus, that waking up with more energy in the morning thing? Gone.

I'm back to sleepy, reluctant, sore and lazy. Welcome back, my true self.

Why do some yoga teachers have "spiritual names"?

I am publicly admitting it.

I think poorly of teachers who publicize their "Spiritual Name."

Very poorly.

As poorly as I think of "Snooki" or "The Situation."

There is disdain, judgment, and scorn thrown in there.

Don't get me wrong. I think most yoga teachers with spiritual names are probably good at their job.

And maybe that's why people don't guffaw when they announce that they want to be called Sunshine Child of the Everlasting Elephant.

To me, the "Spiritual Name" is like a label. It screams, "I'm so legit, I'm oh-so-legit, now pay me more money to teach you some simple postures that you can find online for 1/4 the price!" It's a marketing gimmick.

Which leads me into the whole marketing gimmick of The Yoga Teacher. The earth-friendly products. The perfect skin. The eternal youth and bulging deltoids (yes, I'm jealous). The demi-gods who don't have one negative thought, whose response to a hard question is always easy and flowing but doesn't really make any sense, whose actions are in perfect harmony with YOGA.

It's not fair.

And worse of all, I realize the necessity of playing into this marketing gimmick. Most teachers work very hard for very little, and any sort of publicity that will give them work (i.e. food, rent, bills, dog toys), is part of the work.

But no one sees this.

I'm not saying that Oh-My-Life-Is-So-Hard-Pity-Me-I-Lack-A-Spiritual-Naaaammmmmeee!

No, no. I just wish more people would be willing to show the world that yoga, teaching it, doing it, is not easy.


So I propose this: a marketing gimmick that shows yoga teachers doing everyday things. Things that people do, like:

• - struggle with body image and diet
• - fail at forgiving someone
• - feel lonely and friendless
• - forget important things 
• - lack appropriate tact (a.k.a. say the wrong thing at the wrong time) 
• - spill secrets
• - rail on someone for some stupid inconsequential little thing and then regret it later
• - regret, regret, regret
• - not have enough money and get a second job
• - get on their hands and knees and clean their bathroom
• - get hungover
• - watch The Real Housewives of Vancouver (that shit's addictive!)

I want a marketing campaign so far away from the enlightenment of "Sunset Sea Turtle In the Mist" that it looks like normal people doing normal things and sometimes f*king up. Because that's what being human is all about.

And humans are far more interesting than "Loving Lotus Blossom In Harmony with the World."



What would you like to see yoga teachers do in my awesome new marketing campaign?

Anyone else think "spiritual names" are stupid?